Archive for Life

I have nothing, nothing…

{ September 24, 2008 @ 7:03 am } · { Life }
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The title came out from a line in one of Mel Brooks movies.

Life has been so unusual lately. I graduated from school in May and have been unable to find a job. For the last 18 years of my life I’ve been in school and for the last two years, I had a job. Now, not having either is just awkward.

I’ve been sleeping late these days because it has been so hard for me to sleep. I’ll lay my head on the pillow at 1 a.m. and won’t get to sleep till maybe 5 a.m. I wake up anywhere between 10a.m.-12p.m. I know those are awful sleeping habits, but I just can’t sleep early.

My best friend says these sleeping habits are occurring because I don’t have any worries about school or work. Which is true, but I worry about when I’ll find a job. I hate being home all day while everyone is either at work or in school. All I do is apply for jobs, stay online, watch TV and talk on the phone. I’ve never felt like this before, but I guess that’s what happens when you spend 18 years in school.

Some days, I miss school a lot. I’m planning to go back for my MA around FA’09, but I’m hoping I can enter the program with some, maybe even a year, work experience. I don’t want to enter into the program blind; having some experience will make things clearer for me…I think.

Anyhow, I’m anticipating some positive changes within the next few months and I’m praying every night for good things to come my way and everyone’s way.

Untill then, the best I can do is get excited over the new season of Heroes!!!

Children = Innocence

{ March 13, 2007 @ 5:11 am } · { Life }
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Children really are amazing souls. They have the biggest and purest hearts. Their kisses are genuine and their love is so open that it will embrace anything and everything. They are so carefree and open to experiences; they’re willing to accept a person regardless of who he or she is and will never judge them. All they want to do is play and have a good time.

These were just some thoughts running through my mind as I was driving back home after babysitting. It’s really fascinating watching children and their thought process. Whenever I sit down and feed them, I watch them. Some are quiet, some are loud. Some finish their food early, some just leave food in their mouth and forget to chew. Then there are those who play with their food. Regardless of all the mess they make, they really make me glow and I personally enjoy sitting down with them, feeding them no matter how long it takes, playing their creative little games, and acting like a child myself. All this really helps me connect to all the positive things available to me

Here’s a conversation that played on today.

After watching a character act like a rock n’ roll star on Sesame Street:
S (6): I’m gonna be a rockstar.
Me (Ruby): Oh, I know you have a guitar, but you need to get the outfit.
S: I already have an outfit. I’m gonna have my own band.
Me: Oh, oh, can I play the drums for you?
S/J (3): Daddy’s gonna play the drums.
Me: What can I play then?
S: You’re not in the band. You’re too old. But daddy can play. Only three boys are allowed; Daddy, J and L (1).
Me: Can I play the saxophone or piano or violin?
S: I guess so. But it’s only girls.
J: And me, daddy and L. And also Ruby (me)

That’s just one of our conversations. Pure innocence!